yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
this is an emotional support booty call
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