You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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