She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
