K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
