ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
