Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
