kristin has been a bad kristin
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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