I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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