I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize