But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
