dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
