how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Randomize
