69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
