I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
