they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Terrible idea I love it
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
