So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
