How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
