I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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