I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
