I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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