can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Are we still banned from the library?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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