it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
