can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize