I wannas sexs uuuuu
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
