But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I have aggressive nipples.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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