you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Best friends brother. Beat that.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
