Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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