I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
