I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
