marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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