Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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