Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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