You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
