its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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