my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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