Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
