Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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