I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
My dick has a subreddit
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
not ubering you a puppy
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
