remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
i think im in europe. pls send help
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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