am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
3 2 1 whiskey
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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