Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
