You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Randomize
