Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
