My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
