hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Randomize
