so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
