If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
