u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
