STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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