So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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