I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
