I wish I could punch you in the face.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Your penis caused this!
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
